Remembrance Service-October 15th, 2013

Last night we went to our second remembrance service for Sophie. Today, I felt like I have been hit by a board in the head and can't get out of the fog! Wow are those grief waves exhausting sometimes. It was a special, tragic and beautiful service. I told Sophie's story and read a poem, Light One Candle, by Jim Nelson. I almost didn't make it through the poem but I did it.
Another mom spoke about her son, Bobby last night. She really helped me understand a few things that I have always known but couldn't put into words. Grief does not end, you do not get over the death of your child. It has been seven years since Bobby passed and there are days when she breaks down and sobs. Another mother, who is one of our nursing friends, spoke about how it has been 10 years since the loss of her daughter who died of SIDS. This past weekend she finally went through her things and gave away her toys. I guess it just reaffirmed for us that we are not weird, or wrong for missing Sophie every day. We say good morning to her and good night to her every day. We think of her during the day just like all parents think of their children during the day.
Finding healthy, cathartic ways to "deal" with our loss is good. Sometimes we go through Sophie's book, sometimes we pray to God, sometimes we sit on the floor and cry, sometimes we smile and hug each other. Sometimes we look at Jillian and think how lucky she is that we have Sophie in heaven watching over us :)
Like we have said before, Sophie made us parents first  and we will always love her :)

“If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever”

Light one candle, take my hand. 
Move closer to each other, 
All who so want to smile again. 
In this blessed time of year, 
With your sorrow and tears, 
Come together to remember and to 
light one candle. 
The light is for strength to face, 
The pain welled up inside. 
The light reminds us of shattered 
dreams, 
Not to be denied. 
The light is for courage to beckon, 
Others to our side, 
For every tear we’ve cried…We light 
one candle. 
We all know the reason, 
That we value so this flame, 
To remember every name. 
And a promise made that, 
In our hearts forever they’ll remain. 
Out of love we came to light one 
candle.